1. Communication
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When it comes to relationships, especially when it comes to improving them in some way, communication is key. Any couples therapist would tell you that the most common reason that relationships begin to break down is that they fail to communicate with each other effectively.
2. LISTEN
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Part of this communication is LISTENING. There’s absolutely no point in trying to communicate your feelings and desires if they are not going to be listened to. And even if you appear to be listening, there’s no point in that if you do not act upon anything you’ve heard. It takes a lot to learn how to listen actively but it is so important if you are going to improve your relationship.
3. Trust
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There has to be an element of trust in every relationship. As soon as the trust between both partners dissolves, the relationship is bound to spiral and probably fail in the end. And being able to trust each other to do the right thing allows you both to feel a sense of security and know that you have each other’s back.
4. Honesty
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In order to have a good level of trust in any relationship, both partners must be prepared to be honest with each other. Keeping secrets and sneaking around can be really detrimental to the trust and happiness within a relationship, as is hiding your true feelings from each other.
5. Empathy
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Empathy allows us to connect with others and helps us to relate to and understand one another. And this important virtue has often been referred to as the secret to a solid relationship that is full of trust, understanding, intimacy, and a sense of belonging.
6. Laughter
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If you can laugh together, it can really help to nurture your bond with one another and bring you much closer together. And as the old saying goes: ‘laughter is the best medicine’, it might be just what your relationship needs to be able to return to its former glory if you’re finding yourselves stuck in a rut.
7. Respect
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Having respect within your relationship is also essential if you are in it for the long haul. And it must work both ways too because you both need to make sure you’re respecting each other fully, including each other’s opinions, feelings, decisions, and desires.
8. Gratitude
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Showing gratitude to one another and showing it in small but consistent ways can make each person within the relationship feel like they’re wanted, needed, and desired. And when you both feel this way, you are also more likely to feel appreciated so it makes putting the work in feel more than worth it.
9. Independence
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When you’re in a relationship, it can be easy to begin to feel like you are losing your own individual identity and you might begin to feel like you are becoming pretty dependent on each other. So having some time on your own can really help each of you to regain your independence, and individuality, and even provide a much-needed boost to your confidence that you didn’t know you needed.
10. Shared goals
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It’s always good to have some alignment when you’re working out your goals. You might have your own personal goals and this does wonders for your independence but it is also really important for you to work towards shared goals too. These might be goals in life, like buying a home together, or they might be other things, like training to run a marathon together.
11. Common interests
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You need to also make sure you have some things in common. If you didn’t, it might make the evenings drag on a little with nothing to talk about, or even do! You might have bonded over common interests in the past but perhaps you’ve grown apart since then an you need to regain some common ground.
12. Individual interests
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So common interests are important, but you maintain your independence and individual identities, you should also make sure you have your own individual interests. You don’t want to just take on all of your partner’s interests, leaving nothing for yourself because you would probably end up resenting them quite a lot after some time.
13. Quality time
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Take some time out just for yourselves. We know life can be hectic and sometimes your schedules might not align, but even if it’s just cooking dinner together, this can work wonders for your relationship. You don’t have to book a fancy hotel and spend the night away to spend quality time together, you can try to embed it into your day-to-day lives. This will keep it more consistent and therefore more effective in the long run!
14. Support
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When we feel supported, we feel like we can take on the world, and whatever we’re going through, we might just feel that little bit stronger with the backup we need. This is why it’s so important for both partners to feel supported in their relationship.
15. Celebrate
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Part of being a supportive partner is to make sure you’re celebrating each other’s successes whenever you have the opportunity. And this doesn’t always mean popping the champagne cork (although sometimes it might), because just showing each other that you’re happy and excited for each other’s wins can go a long way.
16. Surprise
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Life is busy and it’s so easy to get stuck in our routines so much so that it feels as if 10 years pass without us realizing it! And this is when relationships can become stagnant and stale. But breaking up the routine from time to time and adding in an element of surprise can really inject a little more excitement into your relationship.
17. Patience
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If you’re working on your relationship together, certain habits can be really tough to break, especially if you’ve been together for years. So make sure you try to be as patient as you can with one another because it does take time and some things take longer than others to improve.
18. Flexibility
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When you’re in a relationship, you do need to be able to consider someone else when making decisions. And you’re also going to be affected by someone else’s decisions too. So being as flexible as you can really help you to see your partner’s perspective and reach effective compromises.
19. Compromise
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You’re not going to agree on everything. And that’s absolutely fine because you are two individuals with your own minds, emotions, and opinions. And being flexible enough to see each other’s sides and coming to a compromise can really make each of you feel safe in the fact that you feel seen and heard within your relationship.
20. Intimacy
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Intimacy is key to a close relationship and allows you both to feel a deeper connection and feel the support that you need. And this closeness that you experience through your intimacy can make you both feel comfortable enough to share things with each other, as well as have deep, meaningful, and sometimes difficult conversations.
21. Rest
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Finding the time to rest together can really help with that deeper connection you might be craving. And slowing things down, even if it’s for a short time, to share some space, touch, and relaxation as you rest with one another can really help you to open up to one another.
22. Space
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When you’re in a relationship, being in each other’s space is an inevitability that is often quite welcome and can really help with your connection. However, having your own space is super important so keep this in mind and respect each other’s boundaries.
23. Play
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There have been many psychological studies into relationships and some of these have focussed on play, laughter, and fun. Research has shown that an element of playfulness in relationships can really help to add new dimensions of security, and connection, and it can even help to resolve some arguments.
24. Adventure
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Whatever the word adventure means to you, there is probably an element of shaking things up a little and challenging the norm. But adding an element of adventure might improve your relationship by adding a sense of fun and excitement, and even risk (which could make things interesting!)
25. Safety
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Feeling safe is all anyone wants, and having that safety with someone in a relationship can really make us feel like we’ve arrived. And there are so many things you can do to ensure your partner feels safe, and vice versa, but, ultimately, it’s about making them feel seen and heard, and making sure there’s an element of trust present.
26. Alignment
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Being aligned is ideal but obviously can feel quite impossible at times, and that’s absolutely fine. You do have to be realistic and understand that you are not always going to be on the same page, but it is important to work on your alignment, particularly with your decision-making but don’t forget about also working on your ability to compromise.
27. Compliment
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Everyone loves a compliment, even if they say they don’t, so make sure you compliment each other regularly. This could surround everything from each other’s wins and successes, things each of you has created, and even on what each of you has chosen to wear.
28. Mental health
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It is important to take steps to look after both your own first and also your partner’s mental health. Although it’s no one’s fault, mental health issues can really put a strain on relationships and can be quite detrimental. So if you notice something in yourself, or your partner, be sure to access the help you might need.
29. Physical health
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Taking care of your physical health is also important, whether that’s eating well, keeping fit, or managing a physical health issue. This is because it can help you to feel good about yourself which can go a long way toward how successful your relationship is. And you can provide support to one another in improving or maintaining physical health.
30. Perseverance
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Nobody is saying that working on a relationship is ever easy, and whatever your reasons for wanting to improve your relationship and keep it going, you are going to need to persevere with patience, understanding, kindness, and support. It might take some time, but with these qualities and virtues, you have a bigger chance of success.
