Vicky Pattison has felt “like a scared little girl” amid her struggles to conceive.
Image Source/ Closer Magazine
The 31-year-old TV star has taken to Instagram to reveal her personal anguish over her struggles to have a baby following years of partying.
After a recent visit to a fertility clinic, Vicky – who appeared on Geordie Shore from 2011 until 2014 – wrote:
‘I am usually quite a strong, together woman – but on that morning I felt like a scared little girl.
‘Tormented by the possibility that my childish decisions over the years may have stopped me from being able to have a baby.
‘Until recently motherhood has not been something that I considered – it wasn’t a role I wanted to play. But since turning 30 & almost getting married – since feeling like I was maturing as a person the desire to become a mother is something that has grown inside me & even though my circumstances changed – I couldn’t turn off that feeling. Something has awoken inside of me & it’s impossible to ignore’.
The brunette beauty subsequently expressed regret over the lifestyle she lived during her younger years.
‘Since getting my results I have endeavoured to live a healthier lifestyle, sure I still like a drink here & there – I’m not completely turning my back on gin – but this experience was a wake up call.
‘If I want to have children I need to start looking after myself so I’ve been trying to sleep better (unsuccessfully so far but I’m working on it) eat well & be more active’.
However, Vicky also insisted that, from now on, she wouldn’t dwell on her past mistakes.
‘I don’t know for definite if motherhood is in my stars – I’d like it to be but we’ll just have to see – but what I do know is that beating myself up over my past won’t help me conceive – so I am going to stop & take control of my present & project positivity for my future’.