By Kirsty Bachor

10th May 2019

Facebook Market Place: The Funniest Things Ever Sold!

The facebook market place is just one of many buy and sell groups selling some extraordinarily bizarre items over social media.

For those interested in selling and encompassing a wide market of up to a million people, you can price your item on the Facebook Market Place; a facebook app allowing people to discover items for sale in your local area. selling on facebook marketplace can be a good business move. Simply take a photo of your item and you can place it as a listing on the marketplace with a description and price. Then voila! You’re ready to start selling!

For those wanting to sell items, you can set an asking price. Whether you’re a buyer or seller, selling on the facebook marketplace could be a convenient option.

If you’re looking to buy items and you’ve only ventured on to Facebook Marketplace to research a table or perhaps a TV stand, then you might have been lucky enough to avoid the stranger listings on there.

If you have unlimited leisure time, however, you may have been tempted to browse the depths of the weird and come across some pretty hilarious items…

1. Six Ounces Of Water For 56 Dollars (Bottle Not Included)

If this water had the power to keep us immortal and forever young and beautiful, we might consider the price fairly reasonable…However, we highly doubt that the seller is a wizard and as tempting an offer this may be, we think we’ll continue with good old l’eau de tap.

facebook market place bottle

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“Perfect as a Christmas or Birthday gift” – Who needs entertainment when you can have hydration? And of course the bottle isn’t included; we don’t want to go spoiling anyone too much now, do we?

2. This Person Is Selling Their Soul For 1 Dollar

When we said it was time to do some soul searching, we didn’t actually mean it literally! Still, if you do find yourself in the midst of an online soul shop, it has to be said that souls attached with the tagline ‘pretty useless’ probably aren’t going to be the next bestseller. Even Satan himself wouldn’t squander his time on that!

facebook market place spongebob

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We think this seller needs to do some serious soul searching of their own. Gold! Always believe in your soul. You’re indestructable, always believe in…

Okay, we’ll stop!

3. A Slice Of Pizza – With One Bite Already Taken Out Of It

Beggars can’t be choosers – you can get yourself a lovely slice of pizza here as long as you don’t mind a bit of saliva and a missing chunk. Mmm bon appetit!

facebook market place pizza

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Well, don’t just sit there! The clock is ticking so you’d better get your hands on what’s left of that pizza!

4. A Half-Empty Bottle Of Diet Coke

I’m curious as to how this half bottle would taste better than a full, new one. Perhaps it’s the flatness? Or the added saliva? The two things we want the most in a good, refreshing beverage.

facebook market place diet coke

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This diet coke had better be LIFE-CHANGING.

5. A Used And Stained Plastic Cup

We’re all for re-using cups and saving the environment, but a tenner could buy us a 24 pack of budweiser…or a dominoes!

facebook market place cup

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This must be the Holy Grail of plastic cups.

6. This Jerk Of A Boyfriend Put His Own Girlfriend Up For Sale

Some men out there are real keepers…this one is certainly not! This boyfriend thought he would show his girlfriend what a loving and thoughtful partner he is by putting her up for sale!

Not only that but he made a conscious decision to use the words ‘loud’ and ‘nagging’ as a selling point. We know someone who’s going to be sleeping on the couch tonight…

facebook market place girlfriend

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To add more salt to the wound, this guy was only charging $100. Excuse me?

7. This Man Is Selling His Left Hand

So many questions…is it detachable from the body? How big is it? Any special tricks?

facebook market place hand

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Guess we’ll never know…We’d be happy to pay the man just for his good sense of humour, though!

8. A Used Menstrual Cup

Yep. Used. And not even just one time, either: “for a couple of cycles”.

facebook market place menstrual cup

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It’s even more funny that she’s “not interested in trades” – why, because somebody else’s menstrual cup would be too weird?

9. An Emoji Pillow – Pictured Covering A Naked Man’s Crotch

This would be a perfectly reasonable thing to have up for sale – if it was pictured on a sofa, for example, or a bed.

facebook market place emojii pillow

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But for some reason this guy thought that a more practical photoshoot would be appropriate.

I mean, the saying ‘sex sells’ can be applicable to most situations but we don’t think that this is one of them! The shocked emoji is definitely more suitable in this context…cringe!

10. Eyebrows For Pets – Drawn On With A Pen

Eyebrows are all the rage at the moment – practising the art of eyebrow fleeking has become every girl’s right of passage. We didn’t think, however, that this tradition was now being passed over to our furry friends…

facebook market place pets

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These poor animals could not look any more unimpressed if they tried. We can almost hear the internal monologue shouting ‘I hate my life’. Still, an aspiring MUA has to start somewhere.

That’s right folks – you can pay someone to give your pet the perfect brows…or you could do this yourself with a pen for free…or you could just not?

11. A Decapitated Plastic Doll – Sold With A Panda Missing Its Body

It sounds like the premise for a really bad (or really good) horror movie.Either way, we don’t think we’ll be lining up for in the cinema queue just yet!

facebook market place panda

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The seller noted that the panda head is magnetic, in case you wanted to attach to the human doll body. Because why wouldn’t you?

12. A Disturbing Sketch Of Angelina Jolie (Allegedly)

“Like new condition”? Well that certainly makes this product far more desirable than it already is…. This woman’s sexy plans went a bit awry when it turned out her boyfriend wasn’t a fan of liquorice after creating (quite impressively) a liquorice thong to wear.

facebook market place angelina

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The more we look at it, the more unsettling it becomes…Angelina if you’re reading this, we advise you to look away now!

13. A Pair Of Used Edible Panties – Sprayed With Febreeze To Give Them A ‘Freshness’ Boost

“Like new condition”? Okay, that makes it alright then. This woman’s sexy plans went a bit awry when it turned out her boyfriend wasn’t a fan of liquorice after creating (quite impressively) a liquorice thong to wear.

facebook market place panties

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We can’t decide what’s more worrying – the fact that this person actually wants to sell a worn thong made of confectionary or that they think Febreeze is a disinfectant?

14. A Cat Skull Encrusted With Turquoise

Some might enjoy decorative skulls as decor (we’re not judging) but behind every decorative skull there is one extremely creepy story…

This one is certainly no exception!

facebook market place cat skull

That really is horrifying, we’re not sure we’d enjoy having this placed on our mantelpiece! The thing could be haunted! Plus, it looks like there is a strong chance it may glow in the dark!

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15. The Hammer Turned Tablet Holder

Who wants to fork out on an expensive tablet holder when you get yourself something simplistic with multiple uses? That’s where the Hammer Holder comes into play!

Need a safe space to put your Ipad? But also have a bit of DIY to do? This product will satisfy both your needs.

facebook market place tablet holder

Looks totally sturdy, right? Get yourself one now! There’s only one item left so they’re going fast…

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16. This Lady’s Broken Heart

The Facebook Market Place can make us laugh and make us cry; this one somehow manages to do both! This girl is selling her heart for just $1. What a bargain! Folks, form an orderly queue.

facebook market place heart

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As the seller says, she just ‘need luv’. Someone pass us the kleenex!

17. Back Up Mobile Phones To Suit Your Cheating Needs

Need an indestructable spare phone? Why not try one of these? Perfect for players, drug dealers and the elderly, these old bricks are simple to use and easy to hide.

facebook market place phones

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$150 dollars seems extremely reasonable, right? It’s not like you can just visit your local CEX and purchase a new one for a quarter of the price and most likely far better quality.

But where would the fun in that be?

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