No matter what salon you to go, you can bet your bottom dollar that ‘just one inch off the end please‘ does NOT mean ‘just one inch off the end‘ to your hairdresser.
Seriously, what part are one inch don’t you understand? ARE WE SPEAKING DIFFERENT LANGUAGES!? Work with me here, Karen.
From mullet to infected hair follicles, we’ve all visited the salon and been dealt a haircut hand so bad that we’ve instantly retreated back to bed and vowed to never return to normal life until those weird new layers have grown back to a presentable length. Ladies and gents, you’re not alone.
So you think you’ve had bad hair days? Here are 11 times that hair has gone seriously, Monica-from-Friends-afro-levels of wrong…
1. ‘The Hair and the Mullet’
“Sits me in the chair and proceeds to take 45 minutes to give me a trim. The haircut also gave me short straight bangs…like Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber, you could see the acne on my scalp it was that bad… and she also gave me a mini-mullet in the back. Thanks.”
2. ‘I did NOT ask for a fish bone perm…’
“Went in for a body wave a month before my honeymoon. Stylist says, ‘Sure, no problem! I can do that!’ and proceeds to pull out teeny tiny fish-bone sized rollers. Rolls up my hair and leaves me sitting there, soaking in perming solution. After all the rollers were taken out, my hair is clearly not in a body wave – it’s in the tightest ’80s spiral perm imaginable. Tell the stylist this isn’t what I wanted, he says, ‘Don’t worry, this is just what it looks like at first! It’ll loosen up!’”
3. ‘It was the night before 6th grade…’
4. ‘Infected hair follicles really is a thing.’
“I was getting my hair cut before moving. Her buzzers died halfway through doing the back of my neck, so she grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer and basically scraped my neck. Since she didn’t sterilize them first, a few days later, the back of my neck erupted with infected hair follicles that hurt like hell. They took 3 months to heal.”
5. ‘I looked up… she’d given me a Carol Brady with dreads.’
“Went to my usual lady. Told her ‘the usual,’ which was shoulder length with long layers. Took a phone call from angsty teenage son. Looked up to see that I looked like Carol Brady. Plus it was all knotted – I had dread… Cried for two days.”
6. ‘Traumatised by my bowl cut…’
“When I was 15, I went to my mom’s hairstylist. I had a very low maintenance cut picked out, with minor layers and cute sidebangs.
“The lady told me, ‘That haircut is too much work for you,’ and gave me a bowl cut. After I saw it in the mirror, I immediately started crying, then she yelled at me for crying. I didn’t allow anyone to cut my hair for 3 years after that. Even when I got hair infection.”
7. ‘I asked for an inch, I got 7’
“I went to a mutual friend, a girl I had known for a few years in beauty school. However, the ‘mutual friend’ we met through and I had a bad ending to our friendship. I was confident, though, that she’d be professional, as she had done my hair in the past. I asked for an inch trim… She cut off about 6-7 inches. I was devastated. It took close to 2 years to be somewhat the same length. 3 years later and it’s still never been as long as it used to be and i’m quickly losing my hair now.”
8. ‘It was the morning of my wedding…’
“I cut and dyed my own hair for ten years. Then, before my wedding, friends encouraged me to ‘treat’ myself and go to a salon. So three days before the wedding, I went in for a bit of a trim.
“The stylist promised me she was a professional and could do something amazing with the little bit of hair I had. Then she gave me a mullet. Like 1970s hockey hair. Three days before my wedding. When all I asked for was a trim.
“I wore a wig to the wedding. Which wait for… had lice infested. Nice”
9. ‘My hair looked like ramen noodles…’
“I wanted nothing more than to have beautiful, golden beachy waves. So I went to my stylist and asked for a loose perm. She said, ‘Okay, but your hair will be a little more damaged than it normally is after bleaching it!’ Naively, I agreed to it.
“My stylist didn’t tell me, however, that perming bleached hair is literally the worst thing you could ever do to your locks.
“When it was done, it looked like something you’d order from a chinese, kind of like Justin Timberlake’s hair way back when. When I showered, it would break off in my hand, and it felt like very, very weak elastic.”
10. ‘I definitely didn’t ask for sideburns’
“Provided photos of myself with a nearly identical style.
‘Your hair won’t do that style. How about this one?’ with ugly long face framing tendrils on each side.
‘No, I don’t like that. Here are pictures of me from the past. Can you do that?’
‘Okay, I will do that.’
Fast forward 45 minutes. I’ve got ugly long face framing tendrils.
‘Um. These things on the side of my face. I don’t like them.’
‘Oh, I thought you said you wanted that style.’”
‘AND the dye she used caused by hair to dry out and flake like mad’.
11. ‘I looked like Sulley from Monster’s Inc.’
“Went to a training salon and had a girl turn my hair a greenish hue. Had to go to work and deal with looking like an idiot until they could have someone else fix it. I go back and the girl is giving me the stink eye as someone else was correcting my color. It even caused my hair to fall out and my scalp to flake…”
Horror Client: Haristylists Reveal Most Disgusting Customers
Like most women, I love going to the hairdressers. Getting up to date on the latest, local gossip, a relaxing head massage and after all that hard work… a fresh new blow dried head of hair!
However, many men dread getting their haircut… the small talk with the hairdresser, the weird vibration of the trimmers on your head and the uncomfortable eye contact with yourself in the mirror. So, in typical male fashion, they want get in and out as quick as possible!
Love it or hate it, have you ever considered just how much a hairdresser enjoys cutting your hair?
Here are a few horror tales which will make you feel pretty bad for your local hairdressers…
1.“One young boy came in with his mother following him closely behind. He was around 8 and his mother requested that I shave his curly, locked hair to near baldness, despite her son’s worried looking expression. After about a third into the cut, I noticed he had an extreme lice infestation underneath his locks.
I was so grossed out, I stayed 3 hours after closing time and disinfected everything I could find. Chairs, scissors, walls, mirrors. Much to my shock, his mother came back in disgraced that I didn’t finish the job. Instead of understanding that it was illegal to carry on cutting his hair, she accused both me and the salon of being racist. That was a fun day. She also threatened that she wouldn’t bring her son back in for another hair cut…thank Goodness for that ”
2. “My husband has been a barber for many years now. And he has never seen anything like this… A guy came into the salon the dreadlocks and said he’d decided to shave them all off. After examining what he was working with, my husband noticed thick green pus on the man’s head. After looking closer, the green pus completely covered the man’s scalp. He was sent to the emergency room to sort that out ASAP.” Yuck!
3. “My wife is a hairdresser for a big hair company. You’d be surprised at just how many man use their hair cape to cover up them j**king off.”
4. “A couple of years ago I started doing my bit by cutting homeless people’s hair. It was both incredibly rewarding and incredibly revolting. I’ve seen more scabs and cockroaches that I had ever imagined.”
5. “Jack, my co-worker one cut hair for a very, very fat man. When I say fat I don’t mean tubby, I mean he could hardly squeeze in a barber’s chair which would usually fit four men. Have you ever seen a fat person’s neck? It forms layers and layers of skin, rolling over each other and trapping more fat and sweat into each layer. Anyway, to cut this man’s hair, we had a team holding up the layers to make a smooth layer to shave the head.
Jack suddenly jumped backwards and discreetly started wretching. He said that between the fat layers he’d seen sticky, green sweat piles with skin tags attached to them that had been covered by many years of fat. The smell still sticks with Jack and he can’t eat when someone mentions it!”. We feel for Jack!
5. Lawn mower hair cut.
“A friend of mine used to go out, get drunk, meet guys, bring them back to her place and convince them she knew how to cut hair and she wanted to give them a free haircut. They were always drunk too and generally said okay. Sad thing is, she does NOT know how to cut hair and they would wake up at home the next morning looking someone tried to cut their hair with a lawn mower. And no, she did not sleep with them either. Just a bad haircut and adios.”
6. Beauty school nightmare.
“When I was in beauty school, my brother-in-law and husband came in to get haircuts. While I was cutting my brother-in-law’s hair, he didn’t know what he wanted and kept wanting to go shorter, shorter, shorter. I started out with a 5 guard and ended up down at a 2 by the time he was happy. So, I’m finally about 3 minutes away from being done with the haircut, and I flick the guard off so I can clean up around his ears and hairline. He says “Hey, I think it’s longer on this side. Can you even it out?”
So, I immediately move to that area and slide my clippers up the side of his head. With no guard on. Just take a huge slice of his hair clear off the side of his head.
I am not ashamed to say I cried, because I did. I ended up fixing it pretty well and when it grew out a bit, it was his favorite haircut ever. PHEW. Or at least he told me so.”
“I once had a guard pop off while I was cleaning around the sides of my customer’s head and I ended up shaving a bald spot about 2″x4″ on the back of his head. Luckily the customer was only a child, and his mother was very understanding. I gave her whole family of 5 free haircuts and they let me play around and do some chemical straightening and dye jobs. After they tipped me $200 and wouldn’t let me refuse it, even after telling them all the work I did would have only cost them around 170.”
8. Don’t over bleach your hair.
“A lady came in for the first time with extremely over-processed blonde hair, and she wanted to be red. I told her that it wasn’t a great idea and that she should get a pretty significant haircut and do some serious conditioning before she tried to put anything else in her hair. I told her that damaged hair rejects warmth and won’t hold red color. She didn’t like that answer. I’m a total pushover, so I agreed to try, but I couldn’t guarantee that it would turn out good. I treated and filled it, but the red still turned out hot at the roots and vaguely pink on the last 6 inches. She flipped out and sobbed and demanded a refund and so on. I learned a valuable lesson about saying no to people.”
9. Oh shit.
“My sister in law finished her hairdressing qualification and convinced me to trust her when she said she could turn my dark hair back to blonde/mousey. She made it orange, then cut it, then bleached it and literally like 7 inches of my hair dropped out the next few weeks. She killed my hair. It became short – I was distraught. That was 4 years ago and it’s still really weak and falls out but it’s grown back and I just use moisturising shampoos to maintain the condition.”
10. Curly hair. DAMN.
“Cutting the hair of a curly client, I did not correctly account for how much the curl was going to tighten up after I took off the length and I cut her hair an inch too short. After it dried it was almost 4 inches shorter than she asked for. She was really kind to me about it though she was obviously very disappointed and I comped her cut.
What really made me cringe though was later, when I realized it was going to take her 2 years to get that length back.”
“When I first started I had to cut this little girl’s hair. It was really uneven. I just have no idea where I went wrong because I had done the cut dozens of times. I felt so bad. I’ve never been one of the hairdressers who cuts 4 inches when you say one inch. But we had to go very short to save my lopsided cut. That’s really the only time though.
I have a lot of people make me do two haircuts because “oh I told you I wanted a lot less off because everyone always takes too much off but you actually did what I asked you to do” sigh. I guess it is easier to take more off than glue it back on.
Also once I was trying to get golden blonde when clients hair was already pretty bronzey and ended up with bright yellow. The place I worked at had cheap unpredictable color and I knew what needed to be done but being new and naive, I let my client tell me which color to use instead of my own judgement.”
11. Skrillex lookalike.
“Once upon a time the first haircut I gave was to my brother. I was using clippers and thought I kind of knew what I was doing, but really I didn’t. I proceed to give him a haircut.
It’s actually going relatively well at this point, so my confidence is a little boosted. Saw the sides of his hair touching his ear, decided it needed to be trimmed. Instead of using scissors, or just going around the edge of the ear without a guard, I used the taper guard. By the time I realized it was a bad idea, he was missing a patch of hair on the side of his head right above his ear. I swear he looked like Skrillex. He was SO PISSED.”
“When I was in school, we had a lot of people come in right after they got their Social Security Checks. Every month the same lady came in to get her hair washed and cut, and we would place bets on who would be stuck with her. I never paid much attention and just went along with the jokes. Well, the week I was graduated, she shows up and go figure, I was stuck with her. This is the worst haircut I have done, simply because it’s not what she wanted.
Well once she sits down, I see what everyone has been talking about. I This lady had one big matted dreadlock right at the back of her head. I get to work but after about 40 minutes of trying to comb this monster out, my teacher proceeds to come over, take my shears, and cut it all off. I take this lady to the sink and I did 4 shampoos on her, all of which came back green from mould. Needless to say, after I cut it this woman was pissed that it was so short. I was just relieved to be done with her.
I talked to my teacher later about why she cut it all out and she said, “I saw how long it was taking and knew she was going to be there all night to save her hair. When I saw the mould, I had to check it for bugs.” I swear I never washed my hands so many times in one day. The smell of mould does not want to leave.”
Credit: Reddit users.