If you’re one of the unlucky people who gets bitten by mosquitoes you’ll relate to these.
Summer is not as enjoyable for you.
When summer arrives, everyone gets excited and you’re no exception. It doesn’t take long though for you to start feeling a bit apprehensive about the inevitable bites that will soon be over your legs, face, back, arms, chest, stomach… yeah you get the idea.
You have had philosophical thoughts about the mosquito species…
“Why?” you ask yourself, do these creatures exist?
You are partly proud of how delicious your blood tastes to these creatures.
There is a part of you that feels pleased that your blood is such a delicacy to nature’s biggest shits.
But you mainly just envy people who don’t EVER get bitten.
Those people literally have no clue how lucky they are.
“Why me? Seriously though, what have I done?”
Your house is full of bug sprays, fly swats, bite zappers and bug candles.
That’s right, come summer time you make a bee-line straight to the repellent isle at every shopping trip – if it says it kills bugs, you buy it.
Although these companies try to make their products smell less like the insect killing chemicals they contain, the smell of insect sprays is very obvious and by the end of the summer you’ve given up wearing perfume and just stick with “Eau De Bug Repellent”.
You’ve wrongly thought you were protected by your clothes.
When bug sprays aren’t to hand you just have to put up with wearing thick clothes, like jeans. Not that these barriers are always fool proof, as this unlucky guy found out:
You know that most “home remedies’ don’t work.
Making a cross in the bite, slapping the bite? They’re all fairly pointless home remedies and five minutes later we know we’ll be scratching away again.
You are the king/queen of the antihistamine.
When you’re not spraying bug repellents, you’re probably taking some kind of antihistamine. From tablets to nose sprays, you’ve tried them all and you spend most of the summer looking drowsy because that stuff is so strong.
You have to explain to people that the big spot/swelling on your face is in fact a bite and that you do not in fact have acne or have been in a fight.
Although you can laugh off a massive zit-like bit every now and then, by September you’re pretty fed up with looking like a pizza and would very much like Christmas to come and the mosquitoes to all do one.
Mosquitoes seem to have an ability to get you right where it hurts.
How is it that mosquitoes always have a way of biting you in the most sensitive areas? From right in between your fingers or toes, to being bitten on your arse, mosquitoes really are evil little flies. This guy found this out first-hand when he got bitten right on his big toe.
Killing a mosquito is ridiculously satisfying.
It’s been buzzing around all day long. It’s bitten you twice and somehow, you still haven’t been able to kill it. Then, just when you thought it had got away, you spot it, resting on the wall. You edge slowly towards it and BAM, justice is served.
Your walls are covered in smears of YOUR OWN blood from the mosquitoes you’ve killed.
Your room starts to resemble a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre as you hone your mosquitoes attacking skills and get all the little buggers who’ve been keeping you awake at night by sucking your blood. Shame it’s now that very blood that you need to clean off your walls.
You do not envy anyone that lives near still water, no matter how idyllic it looks, because they’re basically just living in Mosquito Town.
You flinch at any high-pitched buzzing sound convinced that it’s a mosquito.
From multiple sleepless nights spent lying awake listening to the quiet, ominous buzz of a hungry mosquito you now flinch any time you hear any high-pitched noise.
Just the talk of mosquitoes is enough to get you itching.
Hearing people talk about all their bites and the mosquitoes they’ve been putting up with is enough to make you feel pretty itchy. In fact, you’re probably feeling a bit comfortable after reading this. Sorry.