1. Some of us like to over pack.
Even if we are only going on a four day holiday to Benidorm, why wouldn’t we take a 10kg hand luggage along with a 20kg suitcase that somehow weighs 25kg? How many times have you seen someone unpacking at check in, throwing out as many things tey don’t need. I mean, I think we’ve all been there, where we’ve ha to wear half of our clothes onto the plane because our case is too heavy or is that jus me who;s had to do that?
2. Some of us even like to hold up security.
There’s always that one person who has to throw half of their liquids away because even after travelling on a plane year in year out, they still don’t understand that you can’t carry anything over 100ml. They’re also the people who stand there and argue about the fact they’ve got to throw their belongings away. If you’re one of those people, you’re an ar*ehole.
3. There’s always someone who forgets their liquids bag.
So there’s even more of a hold up.
4. Some of us panic that we’ve somehow packed an ounce of weed and a dead goat into our suitcase?
Have I somehow packed 100 grammes of cocaine in my suitcase? What if someone has tampered with my case and put illegal stuff in there? Why is the security man looking at me in a funny way? Can he smell my fear?
5. If you manage to go through the scanner without being man handled then you’re lucky.
I don’t think I’ve ever been to the airport without having to get patted down and stroked by the security woman. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having someone search your underboob and crotch area in front of hundreds of other people.
6. Once you’ve got through security without being wrestled to the floor and arrested it’s time to relax…
But that’s after you’ve picked your bags up off the security trolley and got past the 20 people who were in front of you who’ve decided to just stand in the middle of the room while they rearrange their hand luggage and put their shoes and jumpers back on.
5. You’re finally in duty-free.
It’s time to have fun now and splash out on alcohol, perfume, chocolate, you name it.
6. Most people forget to pack at least one thing.
Which means spending an extortionate amount of money on the essentials. I’m still not over the fact I spent £20 on a travel adapter.
7. Then it’s time to take a walk around WHSmith.
It’s classed as a newsagent, so how in gods name do we manage to spend £40 in there? Buying a couple of magazines for the flight is a must, and obviously, you can’t not buy a couple of chocolate bars and sweets, even though you know for a fact you’ll buy food on the flight as well.
8. Then it’s time to get a bottle of perfume or aftershave.
Even though you’ve already got twenty bottles at home, it’s too hard to say no when it’s 20% off.
9. But you can’t leave the duty-free without buying the entire shop.
Makeup, sunglasses, chocolate…you name it, if it’s in duty-free it means it’s cheaper, right?
10. Then it’s time to eat.
You stuff your face before you get on the plane and stuff your face even more because why not? It’s not like you’re about to go on holiday & have to squeeze yourself into a bikini or swimming shorts, is it…
11. In the meantime, you’re checking the TV to make sure you haven’t somehow missed your flight.
Why is it, that even though we know what time our flight is, we still have an irrational fear that we’re going to miss it.
12. And finally, just as you start to get bored you see your gate number pop up.
That precious gate number.
13. That’s when you see all the enthusiastic queuers.
Lining up for a flight an hour before even though every has assigned seats. Why not stand around for no reason? Why queue when you can spend a bit more time people watching and eating all the food you bought in duty-free.
14. By this point, you’ve checked your bag at least 37 times to make sure you’ve got your passport and boarding pass.
And when you finally get through to the plane doors it’s time to relax….you’re about to go on your holidays.
15. Oh no, wait, it’s time to start panicking about flying now….
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