So the north is the north and the south is the south. Where the hell are the Midlands and when does the north and south divide start? Where do the midlands stand in this argument? They just need to pick a side and stop sitting on the fence.
1. Chips & gravy.
Because apparently, some southerners, have said they don’t get gravy on their chips. Curry = boring. Red sauce = boring. And the fact they’re baffled when we get chips, cheese and gravy just breaks my heart. Do they not realise what they’re missing out on?!
2. The lingo.
Londoners have cockney rhyming slang, the Cornish have, well, we don’t actually know but they sound foreign to me, so on and so on. But up north you can pop in a taxi 15 minutes down’t road and the people will have a completely different accent and they’ll use their own slang words.
3. Smiling at strangers.
Not all of us are as friendly as we make out, I know some right grumpy tw*ts from up north, but in general, we’re much friendly than southerners. Say if you’re going for a walk with your dog, people will walk past you and smile, or say hello even. When you’re down south and you even dare to sit near someone on the tube, they look at you with sheer disgust as if you’ve just p*ssed all over their shoes or something.
Is it a cake? Is it a roll? Is it a barm? WHO THE F*CK KNOWS. Who actually gives a sh*t? If you go into ASDA or Tesco in the midlands though that’s a whole new arguement, I’m pretty sure they’ve just made names up for things there hahaha!
5. The fact that every southerner we meet we think are “posh”.
They are to us when you’re used to hearing a Yorkshire accent all day every day. Whenever you meet a bunch of southerners on holiday they automatically sound posh to us and we automatically sound like Peter Kay to them.
6. Going out on a night out in winter with no coat on.
We’ve all been guilty of doing it when we can’t find a coat that suits our outfit we just brave the cold, but it seems so much worse when we’re from up north because it’s a GOOD 7 degrees colder than it is down south. We’re just built to brave the cold aren’t we.
7. Calling an alley a ginnel.
Yes, that is the correct way. Mardy is the Yorkshire word for moody and canny is the Newcastle way of saying great. It might sound funny to southerners, but I’m pretty sure cockney rhyming slang and cornish words are a load of b*llocks too.
8. The cities are usually way better. Everyone who’s from down south thinks that the North looks like this.
When people think of England, they instantly think of London. But what about Manchester? the cool, bustling (mini London) if you like. Newcastle’s the ‘going out’ city of England. And York is just historic and beautiful. Oh, and there’s no forgetting about Glasgow and Edinburgh, yes they’re in Scotland but they’re up North and GREAT cities – not forgetting Leeds, Sheffield and Liverpool.
9. Tea is more than just a drink.
Well, I’m a northerner and I don’t actually drink tea, but it is more than just a drink up here. It’s just the usual question you ask someone when they enter your house “Want a brew?” “OF COURSE!” Yorkshire tea bags are just divine.
10. The rivalries.
Manchester VS Liverpool. Yorkshire VS Lancashire. Newcastle VS Sunderland and that’s not even including Scotland, that’s a whole new ball game. Everyone hates each other really when it comes to sports, but if anyone dares to insult us northerners then they can f*ck off too.
11. The fact that a pint up here doesn’t cost your monthly wage.
You can afford to go out for four/five pints & not just one. You don’t have to get a mortgage out just to get a pint down your local. I’ve had to dip into my savings a few too many times when I’ve had a night out down south. Let’s face it everything up north is just better isn’t it.
12. You think your accent is quite unnoticeable but everyone down south basically thinks you’re Peter Kay.
I just thought I had a normal Manc accent but as soon as I meet people from down south, that’s when the mocking starts. The constant repeating of what I’m saying in a stupid broad Yorkshire accent, because that’s the only one they can replicate. I suppose it’s just as annoying when northerners meet someone from say Bristol and we come out with “You sound like you’re from LANDAAAAAAAN.” B*llends.
13. How proud we are of being northern.
If you’re daaaaaaaan saaaaaaaf and someone insults the north, wellllllllll, they’ll be getting a good talking to. Southerners seem to think it’s like Shameless up north, everyone lives on council estates, drinks beer throughout the day and gets into fights on the regular apparently.
If the fact they don’t eat gravy with their chips isn’t bad enough, you southerners don’t have scraps. WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU EVEN EAT WITH YOUR CHIPS YOU DEMONS. If it’s not gravy, not scraps or cheese what is it?
15. The fact we still brave it on a night out when there’s pretty much a hurricane.
For us northerners, it’s like a little sprinkle of rain, even if there’s slight flooding, it’s nothing to panic about….southerners however, FREAK OUT. When we go on our holidays I think we appreciate it so much more, because we get about 2 weeks of good weather a year and then that’s it, it’s rainy.
16. The fact you can walk around at your own pace.
You basically get swept up in a hoover of people when you step foot in London, if you don’t walk at everybody else’s pace then expect to be trampled on. There is no chance of having a casual stroll anywhere in London. Either walk fast or die.
17. Oh and personal space.
You can go on public transport up here and not have someone practically dribbling on your neck because they’re so close to you. Even in Manchester & Leeds, the two busiest Northern cities. You get on the tube around London and you’ve got to literally glue your hangbag and hold on to any of your clothing and belongings so someone doesn’t pick pocket you, they’re so close to you on the tube that you can feel their breath on your cheek. EW.
The fact we act like Greggs is an acceptable meal for lunch. It is and it always will be. Sausage rolls from Greggs are undeniably BEAUTIFUL. You know that the sausage is probably dog meat, but it’s so damn good.
19. “Duck, Cock, Love.”
All of those words might sound offensive to people down south, but up North they’re just names you call each other, especially older people. “Areet cocker.” It really just depends on where you’re from up north too because there are SO many different dialects and words used. Is it like that down south?
20. The fact we live in minus temperatures half the year and it rains almost nonstop. Winter coats are a must even in August sometimes.
I went down to London once in February all wrapped up prepared for the same weather as in Manchester and it was MARJINALY warmer. I mean the sun was out, there was no snow and I went out with a light jacket. You lot don’t know you’re born, do you!
21. We don’t hate strangers.
I’m not sure what it is, I have plenty of friends from down south and they’re lovely and friendly, but as a whole were just a nicer bunch up north aren’t we. Considering our sh*t weather you’d think northerners were supposed to be the grumpier ones.
22. Calling lunch DINNER.
Why? It’s just a northern thing. “I’m off for my dinner.” It’s just the norm really. What do you call it?
23. And calling dinner TEA.
It’s the Northern way & it’s also the right way. Tea time isn’t a gathering in your living room drinking cups of tea it’s an evening meal.
24. Cheesy chips.
The only acceptable meal for a Friday night….no no, I’m joking, obviously it’s not, but if you ask for cheesy chips in a takeaway shop down south, they look at you as if you’ve just spat on them. DO THEY NOT REALISE WHAT THEY’RE MISSING OUT ON?! And with a bit of gravy dribbled on from the chippy OH EM GEE. Cheesy chips are the reason I can never get the holiday body I want.
Up North we just seem to describe things in a blunter way. There’s no beating around the bush really….we say it how it is. If somethings good up north, it’s beltin’. If somethings bad up north it’s w*nk. If somethings gross it’s angin…you get the gist.
26. A number of chippies per mile there actually have.
You really can’t drive a mile down the road without going past about 7 chippies on the way. Even if you don’t eat chippy that much, it’s just nice to know that you’re never further than a stone’s throw away from a chippy.
Go in Tesco down south and pay a five for a butty. Up north, you can get a meal deal for three quid, so who’s the real winner there ey? I mean I know Manchester might be a mini London but paying £7 in a bog standard pub for a glass of wine is a bit over the top isn’t it. You need to get a loan of just to go for a few bevs down the local in London.
28. Cheeky vimtos.
I mean, I’m not even sure if the rest of the North grew up drinking cheeky vimtos, but I’m pretty sure they did. If you’re in your 20s and you don’t know what one of these things are, have you even had a childhood? They’re cheap and they taste damn good.
29. The orangeness.
I’m pretty sure this is a northern thing really. Apart from the Essex lot, were much more orange up north.
How can we go out on a night out without coating ourselves in a bit of St Tropez? It is a must when you’re paler than a sheet of paper. See, our Tanya from The Real Housewives of Cheshire is a prime example.
30. The fact we drink alcohol like it’s water.
It might not be a fact, but northerners can definitely hold there drink more than southerners. All-dayers in town boozing = NO PROBLEM.