1. Walking in heels on unstable ground.
Cobbled streets for example or a well-mowed lawn. We’ve all been there, we’ve all experienced what a pain in the arsed it is to walk around all day on unstable ground. When you’ve spent hours getting ready to make yourself look like a princess then you get to wherever you’re going and realise you’re going to look a complete tw*at hobbling around all day in ridiculously high heels. Anyone who’s been to the horse races will understand this!
2. Opening your bag up from the night before to find your powder has cracked into a million pieces.
Even though you know you haven’t even dropped it, your compact can just randomly self-combust. It’s obviously still useable, but it’s a pain in the arse to use and you’ll never be able to get it back to its former glory.
3. Fearing the worst is going to happen whenever you wear white pants.
If you’re wearing white pants, you will probably get your period. It’s just sods law isn’t it! And there’s nothing good about walking around with a big red blodge on your nice fitted white pants.
4. Rushing out to the takeaway in what you can only describe as “Paris Hilton gear.”
No one can say that Ugg Boots and tracksuits aren’t a great combo.
5. Permanently having makeup all over your makeup and makeup bag.
Makeup bags are handy to hold all of your makeup in, they’re cute and pretty but they’re a bloody pain to clean. They’re like magnets for attracting makeup, there’s always makeup all over your makeup bag which then transferred onto your bottles and compacts, so no matter how many times you clean your brushes etc you will always get makeup all over your hands whenever you use your makeup.
6. Having to remember to take your birth control pills EVERY morning.
Again, like a lot of things we have to do, this is a pain in the arse and if you’re a bit of an air head like me, it’s always hard to remember to take your pill every day without forgetting. Even if they’re right next to me on my bedside table, I will somehow forget to take my pill at least once a week.
7. Having tampons/pads everywhere.
For some reason, women amass sanitary products. They’re EVERYWHERE, there’s always a tampon in the bottom of your bag, in a coat pocket, a pad in your purse or one hiding in your wash bag. They’re ALWAYS there when you don’t need them but never there when you do.
8. Leaving the house without a bobble or clip.
You may as well have just left your house without pants or shoes because that one day you don’t have the bobble your hair will look an absolute mess.
9. Tying your hair up in a bobble.
We see these girls on TV with their hair in nice high ponytails then whenever I try to imitate them, I end up looking a lot like an egg. A little bald pea head.
10. Pulling out a HUGE clot of hair from the shower plug.
Have you ever sat and wondered why your shower or sink hasn’t been flushing water down as fast? Well, it’s probably because you’ve got a year’s worth of hair stuck down your plug. When I pull my dark brown discarded hair out of the plug, it looks like a giant furball full of phlegm, it’s honestly disgusting.
11. Having to wait approximately 10 years for your hair to dry.
The seasons change, people come and go, you consume a lot of food….it’s still not dry. I really hate those people who can just get out of the shower and leave their hair to dry and they wake up the next morning with it looking the way mine does after having it blow dried for an hour. They’re the worst kinds of people.
12. Getting yourself stuck in an outfit in the changing rooms.
Then having a mini panic attack whilst trying to get your meat head through the arm hole of a top and wondering why it won’t go through. Your life flashes before your eyes, you start wondering if you’ll ever get out of this situation alive. Will you be found alive in the changing rooms?
13. Feeling something sliding up your leg and cold sweat panicking thinking it’s a spider crawling up.
Which means my own hair scares me.
14. Not being able to go more than a day without splitting a pair of tights.
So, when winters here, we usually live in trousers or a dress and tights. Tights are so annoying though, they never stick to your legs properly so the crotch of the tights always ends up half way down your leg and if you’ve got acrylics on, you probably have a 2% chance of not ripping them trying to pull them up your legs. ANNOYING.
15. Wearing a short sleeve top & forgetting to shave your armpits.
It’s not until you lift your arms up at work and one of your co-workers kindly point it out in front of everyone to hear. I’ve lost count of the number of times this has happened to me over the years.
16. Or even worse, wearing slit jeans and not shaving your legs.
It always when you sit down in front of someone that you realise your legs are hairier than a gorilla’s back.
17. Losing at least one item of makeup each time you go out.
Those clutch bags might be pretty to look at, but they’re bloody lethal. I can’t go out with my MAC lipstick in my bag because I WILL just lose it, I haven’t gone on a night out in a long time and successfully gone home with everything I went out with. It’s usually my favourite lipsticks I lose, I don’t know how many MAC lipsticks I’ve had to buy over the years.
18. Having your face printed on your nice clean pillow.
Who has gone to bed the night before and forgot to take their makeup off? Yep, we’ve all been there when we’ve been too tired to even walk into the bathroom and wipe our makeup off with a makeup wipe. There’s always a big orange makeup stain on your pillow the next day.
19. When you hug someone and cover their top with makeup.
This always happens when you hug someone with a white top on, or when they’ve got a nice outfit on and you leave a nice orange mark on their shoulder. I once hugged someone outside their wedding and got makeup all over their nice navy suit. Oooops!
20. Sneezing when you’re on your period and feeling like you’ve just unleashed the equivalent of the amazon river into your pants.
It’s never a nice experience sitting there on your period and wondering if you’ve leaked. You want to stand up and check them but you don’t want to stand up in case it has happened so you just end up sitting at your desk in work torturing yourself until you wait for the right moment to sprint to the toilets. Sometimes you feel like you have to double up on pants to in case you get a heavy flow that month too. Being a woman eh, it’s all fun and games, isn’t it!
21. The pregnancy scare.
Even if you’re not sexually active, there’s always that fear of being pregnant. Why am I not on my period? Why is it late? Has the angel Gabriel flown down & blessed me with a child? WHAT IS GOING ON MOTHER NATURE?!
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